Finding the Ideal

Gospel:  Matthew 19: 3-12

Today's Gospel portion is difficult to read if one is a woman.  The entire conversation around divorce is had entirely from the point of view of a man.  The woman is seen merely as property without any say, and the one exception allowing divorce is predicated on the lewdness of the woman, not the man.  The implied message of the teaching is that a man should keep his wife, though the motives for doing so are not stated in the ideal of love, but are left unclear.

Jesus' disciples hear this teaching and immediately say that if this is so, then it is better not to marry at all.  This response is truly horrid.  Their reason for celibacy is based not on any noble ideals or for the kingdom of God, but only on the fact that they do not have the option of divorcing their wives if they so chose.  And it overlooks the reality unmarried women faced in those days - no protection from law, vulnerability, poverty, and resorting to whatever means to survive as noncitizens unattached to a man.  

The decision to marry and remain committed to marriage is a deep and serious one, one that is borne by both men and women equally.  Marriage is not a decision of one day of proposal and another of the wedding day itself.  It is a decision of each moment of each day that both members make.  A marriage can be an inspiring thing to those who experience one longstanding and committed by each person.  This is the ideal to which married people are called to undertake in a partnership of equals in mutual love and respect.